Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize