Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
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Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
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Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.