the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!