Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.