found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
