those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize