I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
