end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
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Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
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How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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