Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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