Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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