Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize