Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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