all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Farmville is her only friend.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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