so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
