I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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