just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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