Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
