just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize