I need to stop coming to work sober
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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