Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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