I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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