wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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