Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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