He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize