I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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