I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
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There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
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You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize