bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
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I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
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I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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