Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
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