Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way

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  (248): Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms (1-248): Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way http://tfl.nu/a42d
  Replies (7) Good night (952) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.

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  (434): Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now. http://tfl.nu/1bza
  Replies (10) Good night (897) Bad night (2378) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.

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  (407): me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun. http://tfl.nu/sy2c
  Replies (41) Good night (4123) Bad night (1165) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.

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  (704): i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes. http://tfl.nu/4acf
  Replies (54) Good night (3576) Bad night (2512) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.

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  (405): he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love. http://tfl.nu/r7jm
  Replies (19) Good night (5887) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.

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  (256): I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics. http://tfl.nu/u31h
  Replies (25) Good night (5460) Bad night (990) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.

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  (601): So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment. http://tfl.nu/ledy
  Replies (6) Good night (2774) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?

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  (780): do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ? http://tfl.nu/tyvw
  Replies (12) Good night (2478) Bad night (661) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.

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  (801): Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro. http://tfl.nu/3s7e
  Replies (9) Good night (2965) Bad night (594) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.

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  (618): His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark. http://tfl.nu/bjsg
  Replies (9) Good night (1036) Bad night (1201) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.

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  (937): Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward. http://tfl.nu/uvqx
  Replies (6) Good night (966) Bad night (359) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.

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  (732): My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe. http://tfl.nu/2f1v
  Replies (2) Good night (439) Bad night (790) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed

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  (312): There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed http://tfl.nu/ohal
  Replies (0) Good night (313) Bad night (608) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.

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  (502): No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful. http://tfl.nu/s1k5
  Replies (2) Good night (330) Bad night (150)
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  (310): View more from California

  That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.

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  (310): That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better. http://tfl.nu/qdjx
  Replies (1) Good night (316) Bad night (448) Order T-Shirt

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