youre lurking in front of me
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.