i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
