Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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