i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
