Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Randomize
