I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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