Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize