this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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