mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
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if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
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I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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