Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
