I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize