oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
