Fine. I'll sleep in my office
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize