Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There r osticjed everywhere
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
