Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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