Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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