I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize