dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
So. Much. Porn.
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