How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
A+ Viking dick
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
