I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
