you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
