Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
