3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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