I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
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Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
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I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high